The Life of My Choice

If the human person we are now, had five minutes to ask God any question, would we express gratitude?
Would there be a question?

Gratitude for the opportunities available in the lives we’ve lived – this lifetime and others. For all the realities to explore, to interrogate our enquiry of life uncertainly, as dangerously as we please in whatever state of being we choose. To observe the lives of others in their exploration of the possible, and seemingly impossible. For the ability to see and understand the difference between strive and strife, holding tight to our individuality and autonomy.
We might admit that our guiding desire is to show God we are capable of being His/Its/Her moral superior. Here and now, we are too limited in ability and intellect to seriously challenge a higher power – but we should always try, to be better, more than we seem to be.
Obviously, knowing our limitation doesn’t absolve us from a responsibility to try; to aim high, to challenge, to lose and learn. Learn not to strengthen fear by attacking it but to absorb and understand whatever it has to teach us, to join and simply disempower it with an understanding of its rationale, to see what we might become.
See who we are.

We all try to be as different from each other as possible while still fitting in; seems like a pretty futile exercise because underneath, we’re identical. The esoteric, the mundane, the deep and profound, the superficial and simple is within every one of us, being expressed and suppressed to different degrees as we maintain the veneer of difference.
All this work to make a difference, makes a difference to what might otherwise be an existence. Faced with such variety, it is difficult to understand why, in the midst of so much colourful diversity, there are some people who try to make all people the same, and work hard to make life the same for everyone.
‘Variety is the spice of life,’ a platitude disguising and stating the obvious, that we all share the same insecurities, trying to hide them in as many ways as possible, denying instead of embracing, instead of understanding and working with them to strengthen ourselves and each other.
Being born in separateness isolates us, and we keep this feeling, it’s sticky, making trust a difficult state to achieve. Allowing another person to see who we really are behind our veneer, is an honour. It is the greatest honour we can bestow on another person. But all too often, even those we love use their knowledge of our insecurities to demonstrate how powerful they are by exposing us, even to ourselves. These people are weaker than we are, using the trust placed in them against us. Such people should be pitied.

We can be here in, I think, mainly two ways.

Number 1, is broad spectrum, where we see everything going on around us all the time, with a focus on nothing. Not engaging or understanding. Not allowing time to analyse what we’re seeing before moving on, allowing life to wash over us, to flow around us into the past. Where does that leave us?

Number 2, is a focus – on US. On SELF. Where all we experience is seen as a gratification, pandering, mollifying and self-serving; or abusive, blocking our plans, attacking and thwarting our desires one subject at a time. Our attention flitting from subject to subject, becoming shorter as we seek instant gratification.

We need both. Number 1 is where Number 2 needs to live. Because we are not simply ego; we are part of a tapestry, a pinpoint of light on a thread with other pinpoints of light watching, responding to us and each other, forming the tapestry of life. Woven by us, overseen by God.

On the vine, on the tapestry, why are we attracted to specific lights? How do we fall in love? Why do we say ‘fall’? Is it because love is a lower frequency than the frequency of life on our own? Is it a fall because we surrender ourselves to another being? Is it really as low as that, or misdirection?
We don’t have to rely on luck with the Great Loves’ in our life. We plan before we arrive here and accept the responsibility for our lives, with all its challenges, opportunities, loves, successes and learning opportunities. The only times we should make the same mistake three times is when we are checking the Universe, making sure it’s operating as it should, correctly.
Marrying another, based on a mutual understanding, may not work for everyone. A concept which can be abandoned, or worked out. Deciding to go with our hearts may not work either. But a combination of head and heart can maintain a stable relationship – with the latitude for opportunistic forays with VERY trusted individuals, into the head and heart combinations. Sometimes much to our surprise and ALWAYS illuminating.
We might reconcile this with the question, which of your children do you love the most? If there is an affirmative answer, the next question is, which child do you love the least? Would you be there for them if and when they need you? Love is elastic; love is the most common element in the Universe, magnetic, pulling and pushing and when you call for it, it will come in boundless quantity.
Loving another is not betrayal of one, loving someone else in addition to a primary love spreads warmth, compassion and love. Receiving love from someone else makes us feel as good as they do, no harm. We’re taught to believe otherwise and this is where conflict rises, where people believe they have a monopoly on someone else; very capitalist. Sole possession. People as commodities; things.

The television soap opera template, of falling in love with someone, leaves no choice other than to marry them, according to tradition. According to the template, if you’re already in a relationship you have to destroy it – everything you’ve built with another, leaving collateral damage everywhere including in any offspring. With this behind you, pool assets and make another life. It can be made to work. But there are other ways less destructive, and this life isn’t for the entertainment and profit of others – a learning opportunity at best for everyone. Maybe as a lesson in writing your own life, next time around.
In an honest life within a solid relationship, love means not pretending that our feelings towards another are anything other than what they are. For our own integrity and moral certitude, we need to be who we are, or at least who we claim to be. Not a facsimile of anything society expects; not what a partner or anyone else expects us to be and not someone exploiting a vulnerability in someone else. Our partners can expect us to dash their hopes; support them in a crisis, be unpredictable, kind and thoughtful, love always and all ways, challenging, supportive, co-operative, versatile and an indivisible partner through shared life.

Contrary to when we are young, sex is not a primary motive for alliance when we’re past breeding age. As we age, the urge to procreate diminishes and sex becomes a pursuit of pleasures; an afternoon delight, a joyous exploration of each other. The taboo of sex is replaced with freedom from responsibility and consequence. In later life we have the freedom to explore differently; especially our bodies, the same vehicle we never heard our early peers praise for its exquisite sensualities, only the ownership conferred by marriage, commuted to the religious concept of guilt. Guilty pleasures.
Guilt, an illegitimate child of worry and belief.
Marriage is alleged to be the freedom to live together as two independent, autonomous souls. But in practice, the stronger of the two souls will seek to dominate the pairing, irresponsibly because it is dishonest with regard to the way two people say they feel towards each other.
For an abusive relationship to exist, there has to be love.
How would we know we were in a situation where we had no autonomy? Static. Without even the willpower to change any of the conditions in which we live? Does water have a mind to retain the image of its reflections, or fish swimming under them?

When we work hard, mowing lawns; felling a dead tree, moving huge logs or any other way of expending huge amounts of physical energy to accomplish a task, how aware are we of doing so? We’re there, necessarily, but so completely in the now of the moment there is no past and no future, only the moment we’re living in.
Sometimes, in the evening after sitting for a while, there is stiffness of limb, an ache of muscles reminding us of our recent exertions. Why did we not feel strained or stressed working in the now of the time? Were we there? Memory tells us the work was effortless but we only know this because of memory.
We have a tendency to judge every situation we find ourselves in, at the time regardless of the immediacy of the moment, diminishing spontaneity and taking ourselves out of the now. Afterwards, the judgement robs us of deeper meanings and lessons we could have learnt had we waited until the full experience was over. In the now, we judge positive or negative before we even start to do something, ‘Oh, I won’t like this.’ Or, ‘Oh, this is going to be good.’ We focus on these expectations derived from the pleasure centres in our brain to the exclusion of any life lessons in the experience. Life is more than pleasure and pain, but like the donkey, if we see too much stick, we live for our expectations.

Memory is a funny thing and mine has been hilarious recently, so forgive me if I tell you something you already know.
As we age, certainties we’ve held for most of our lives become fluid. Actions we used to do without thinking take a little effort. Not to the extent we have to pause to work out how to operate our spleen, liver or kidneys; our lungs fill and empty as usual although we do sometimes have to focus on controlling our bladder. This is the nature of our hardware, or wetware as it has been called.
Our brains are processors of visual, auditory and olfactory – all of the five senses, but separate and apart is gnosis. Wisdom, accumulated knowledge is the software our brain slowly absorbs as it works. But the brain deteriorates with the rest of the body as it ages, making our memories uncertain.
Our memories are not all stored in the brain.
A memory is only a processed ghost of an experience our brain needs as part of the software program.

The usefulness of memory wanes when we allow a single event to dominate our now. A bad memory of something we did, got wrong and were castigated for, prevents us repeating that experience in order to get it right. One bad memory bleeds into others becoming a mechanism controlling everything we might try; and don’t. Learning to be controlled for our own safety. Living in a fear we forget is there.
But as humans, we are adept at allowing multiple memories of failure dictate our course through life, steering us on a safer path. How safe do we want to be?
For most people, only when they reach the endgame will they not wait for anything to come to them anymore, nor should any of us deny ourselves something we really want to experience, which is everything we want.

Poetry, written by the likes of Max Ehrmann, reminds us in his Desiderata, of the transitory lives we lead. Everything he wrote in Desiderata has application in our lives and can be comforting, an anchor mooring us to reality.
We might wonder why we would need to ‘gracefully surrender the things of youth.’ What’s he talking about here? Good skin? Boundless energy? Enthusiasm? A lot of us have never been able to let go of our attachment to uncertainty, lack of confidence, self-doubt and the worry of what people are thinking of us – these we would willingly let go, and not gracefully.

But living our endgame is the time to gently let go of everything we’ve adopted from the lives and perceptions of others that have stopped us exploring ourselves, attitudes preventing experiences thought by others to be judged negative; dangerous, unethical, immoral. We want to live dangerously. We do so in different ways throughout life, but can now explore parts of ourselves denied an existence for a lifetime.
Because it’s coming to an end.

Alcohol has the capacity to numb self-control, those controls preventing us from being fully who we are; holding back half our personality, denying self-expression, joys, comforts and love, new experiences. All because we adopted whole or part of someone else’s life-code’s for fear of dire consequences. Careful use of alcohol can show us who we are concealing. We don’t have to worry ourselves in the endgame, we don’t have to fear. We have a wealth of first-hand knowledge of life and have enough faith in our own well-developed life-codes to explore our individuality while we can.

It is possible to love another, outside our normal everyday life relationship, but most people only want to trust one person, reducing the risk of betrayal and associated emotions by investing themselves in one person.
Personal experience of 53 years, 9 years into a strong relationship, led me to someone else I knew I could trust. She had entered life 21 years before me and, as our relationship developed, I realised although (resorting to cliches and metaphors) I had my cake and was enjoying eating it, I could have another cake and enjoy eating that too. The grass has never been greener where I am, and looking outside, there are other lawns, equally green, to play on.
Both relationships benefitted from each other. I learnt SO MUCH from the secondary, from a beautiful soul who taught me more about life, women and relationships than anyone else, strengthening the primary. The secondary relationship developed, growing prominent in ways I never would have thought possible, in depth, trust and ever stronger love. Neither one of us would leave our primary but we knew, we knew in the endgame we were both playing, we’d arranged to find each other to begin building the next life together.

Being aware, looking around and deciding to live the limited life prescribed by societal pressure is to succumb to a lower quality life. Saving, accepting the mundane, staving off quality now for quality later. Reinforced by dogma reminding us to suffer now so we don’t have to suffer in the afterlife. Not useful for a fully developed life; the constant promise of jam tomorrow as a means of taking, stealing from people everything they have today.

Do No Harm, goes beyond Hippocrates when we identify and interpret ourselves. Actions can result in love, happiness, well-being, knowledge, personal growth and self-respect, all of which spread, rippling out from us, the epicentre, without hurt to others. Why should such actions be denied?

Our brain memory in the endgame can become erratic, like a receding glacier leaving scattered boulders across the topography of our mind. If this is happening to you, you’re not alone. A lot of us have similar memory issues but don’t worry about it as much; choosing to surrendering the things of youth.
We can’t stop the slow decline, we have to simply adapt to the new conditions, living a new state of being in the now, without resorting to the past. We don’t actually need memories of the past to live in the endgame. Live for now. Our experiences are not stored anywhere in the body and when we move on, back to real life, the entirety of our accumulated life in this parallel is waiting for us; fresh and vibrant, to be examined, enjoyed and experienced again in real life, outside this parenthesis.
The idea that all our memories die with us comes from existentialism. And we are not existential.
Choose to live in the now. The present moment. Accepting everything, knowing our experiences will be as real again on the other side. It doesn’t matter that we can’t remember, it matters that we don’t stop accumulating positive experiences.

I’ve always planned my future, ever since I was woken at 7 years old. Seen with increasing clarity where I’d be, when and a lot of the time with whom.
In my endgame, foreshortening future was revealed spectacularly by the closest friend I’ve ever known when she told me from her hospice bed, ‘There is no future any more. Nothing to plan for.’
Seeing through her eyes, only the door; the open door. Her final endgame. Exit. A few hours before she left, she told me, ‘Love the living.’

We can prevent banality. Change life for the better in small individual ways at the personal level.
Here in the endgame, we’ve done our bit and can feel absolved of all responsibility to make the world a better place. Spending the rest of our lives in hedonistic pleasure zones of our own choosing, seeking like-minded souls to share with, finding each other, exploring those neglected parts for which there has never been time. All based on, ‘Do No Harm.’

Where does one start?
By finding out who other people are, friends and strangers. And moving forward from there.

Every good story has at its core, a basis of truth. Commonly held truths help people relate to one another by giving us common knowledge to share and compare.

Stories are what happens when truth morphs, metamorphosises.

One truth might have dozens of different versions, repeated, embellished, simplified and altered by different narrators. When we hear a specific version of truth, repeated by many different sources, we tend to believe it, accepting it as The Truth.

The unchanged, unaltered story reinforces itself with each telling, until it becomes accepted. The Truth.

This story has at its heart, the core of a truth.

We have to guard our minds, protecting our versions of truth from the same truth containing small changes, possibly introduced deliberately, in order to sway our belief in a particular direction. To make us think in a particular way. To favour a specific version, the purpose of which we are ignorant.

Forget about beauty and all that, it’s just a misdirection, eye of the beholder stuff.

Analyse everything; consider, think deeply about everything you see on TV, read in the papers or hear on the radio. It’s a given that anything put on the internet by uncredited sources is a lie; false news, misdirection, propaganda, at best it’s conspiracy theory – but these stories can be entertaining, interesting and informative, especially when they have a core of common truth in them, surrounded by facts or factoids. The fallacy of ‘if this then that’. Deception comes in many forms.

We think the age of the Earth is vast, around 4.5 billion years, plenty of time for different species to rise to civilisation before that civilisation collapses into chaos. Many times over.

I’m reminded of the old archaeologist joke.

A group of archaeologists digging a site, come down, at thirty feet, to a streaky green layer. “Traces of copper! This civilisation had a telephone system!” they say.

Another group of archaeologists, digging nearby, dig down to a layer at fifty feet containing strands and tiny beads of silicates. “This civilisation communicated by fibre-optic cable!” they claim.

A group of archaeologists beside them keep digging and at a hundred feet down, come to a layer containing nothing. “This civilisation,” they exclaim, “had mobile phones!”

We know of course, because Darwin told us, that the further back in time we go, the closer to the chimp we get. Australopithecus – Lucy, and her contemporaries. They couldn’t possibly have been intelligent. Stories telling any other theory of evolution are banned; laughed at, ridiculed, called into question by orthodoxy and established tradition. By dogma around a kernel of truth.

The causes of societal collapse in antiquity are irrelevant, but I wonder. Is the mechanism of collapse similar for all of them? Manifestations of malign influence?

Many of the world’s oldest belief systems tell us of polarity in the Universe, in life, rendering down, at the most basic level, to positive and negative. Like the electrical system we all know about. This polarity seeks balance, see-sawing one way then the other, like a pendulum swinging back and forth. It makes sense to think if a force for good seeks to dominate, it has to overcome the force for chaos, and vice versa.

Whatever one person has, there will be another person wanting the same, and willing to take it. The most fundamental possession is personal freedom.

Somewhere in the lost past of this planet, a family grew, a family with the need to control everyone around them. These people were so weak and insecure, they needed control. Control gave them the false impression they were strong, not weak, especially when they could use other people to execute their wishes, in exchange for favours and protection from the family.

People in general are basically intelligent and use that to achieve their goals, fulfil their desires and meet their needs. Intelligence shows us that breeding with other intelligent people of like mind will lead, statistically, to intelligent offspring. Controlling the breeding of people around them, this family ensured, almost by accident, that no people were born with the intelligence to challenge them. This was the beginning.

Through travel; word of mouth, random encounters, droit du seigneur (In early medieval Europe, the right of droit du seigneur, contested by later historians, extended to the Parish Priest visiting and directing his flock. As detailed in ‘Montaillou. The Promised Land of Error’ by Emmanuel Le Roy Ladurie), observation and introductions, this family produced and, over generations, married into other families, producing dynasties. Wealthy, controlling dynasties we might, today, call royal. Born to control. Rule.

Since pre-Sumeria, these early dynasties have been long lived, producing more family than there are countries for them to rule. The first Egyptian Dynasty came out of Mesopotamia. Through a system of feuding and take-overs by local warlords, barons and earls, the control system stabilised leaving legitimate rulers in every country that mattered – those rich with natural resources.

These dynasties are still long lived and co-ordinated. Recognising themselves and their ilk by signs and iconography, they have preserved their own history, culture and identity, they have also concealed themselves and the influence they have on our world – which they now see as theirs. They are separate from the mass of humanity on the planet having had millennia of practice being what they have become.

Ruling effectively means giving populations figureheads with whom they can identify. The English Civil war is an example of the defeated king, his barons, earls and lords, promising to change; taking the civil war leaders away for talks, quietly slaughtering them and returning to the people with what is now our system of democracy. Our true controllers are never seen in public for what they are. One family dynasty on the planet is the most powerful; their name is known but they are never seen, never make headlines or media content. Figureheads change frequently but the orders they are given to implement and execute, do not.

Businesses have become the route to control in our time. Transnational corporations control much of our lives by dictating the services we will use. We know the figureheads of some of these corporate controllers. But the shareholders, owners and masters, often are other corporations, companies, businesses including international and private banks, private equity firms and all global organisations, about most of which, populations have no knowledge.

A business is an entity with rights and responsibilities defined and protected in law.

A business can develop its product/products to bring to market for the benefit of its owners and consumers/customers in order to make a reasonable profit. Fashion and trends are inventions of marketing departments. Companies never release a product from R&D without having the next three or four, or more models, ‘must haves’, ready for market. That’s why the latest model of anything is superseded soon after release.

But not all products make it to market. A few products may be multi-purpose, dual function and be dangerous to the health and well-being of the public. Or simply too useful for the developers.

The general public will never hear about many useful products invented by Research and Development departments of businesses large and profitable enough to employ R&D experts. Generally speaking, the larger the company, the more it will spend on product development. Some of these are requisitioned and nowadays, more likely, sold to Governments for national defence and national security, placing their use far beyond the citizenry who will learn about them when deployed against populations.

Ideas and products of R&D units in every company are jealously guarded secrets, protected as intellectual property.

Have you heard of the Hanebu? Developed, built and tested in Germany of the 1930’s.

The largest corporations on the planet, in every field of endeavour, spend billions of dollars, pounds or whatever is the local currency, inventing, developing and never releasing to the public, their products, technologies and ideas. Operating in strict secrecy bestows great power to the holders of technologies. Before his death in 1995, Ben Rich, the CEO of Lockheed Skunkworks, one of the biggest defence contractors on the planet, was asked how far ahead of the rest of humanity his company was in terms of technology. He replied with a smile, on camera, “We have the ability to take ET home.” Another answer to a similar question previously was, ‘Think of the cutting edge of technologies you are aware of. We are about 70 years beyond that.’ He died soon after.

Any group of people with advanced knowledge and technologies they refuse to share with the rest of humanity on the planet, are setting themselves apart from humanity. Such a group of people would be wealthy beyond imagination because of what they know, using the knowledge to enrich themselves, giving the transnational corporations they own even more to spend on R&D, control measures and narrative. These multi-multi billionaires can buy anything; world media, world water, world energy, countries – Anything.

This group of people are a Breakaway Civilisation, separate from the rest of the planet. The planets jailers. Holding humanity in contempt for being lesser.

The story of this breakaway civilisation is similar to the narrative of the Terminator movies with Arnold Schwarzenegger; on steroids, without Hollywood spin skewing the concluding emphasis.

You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to believe it. This is a story, like all others and you are free to put factual information together in a way that is acceptable to you, but I sincerely hope you enjoyed it.

Tell your own story about the myriad organisations with ‘Global’ in their titles.

We all value our times together with friends, most highly, especially when we’ve been sharing them for a long time, going into dark places we don’t normally illuminate or share with anyone. I know this is so, because of the degree of trust and mutual respect my friends share with me.

When we share painful memories, we do so more often than not because we need to. Supressing traumatic events and emotions causes them to grow, magnify and fester, damaging us as individuals in ways we can’t see. This finds its way to the surface of our consciousness in subconscious ways we don’t notice, but other people, those who have known us, see us behaving in ways incommensurate with who they have grown to know.

It’s important to release pain and anger, all those emotions we try to supress because we don’t want the world to know what’s going on inside, sharing these deep feelings safely, in a loving, caring, closed loop of friendship.

We feel a wide range of emotions when we explore and examine our deep selves, parts of our lives we don’t want to deal with, parts we shun out of fear of pain, but still they present themselves when the opportunity rises – whether we want them to or not. Our mental focus determines our emotions; when we place that focus on our traumas, we shine a light on them, seeing them, feeling them; when we face those emotions, we expose ourselves when we can’t handle their raw power. When in pain, the animal part of us wants to lash out, to somehow give that hurt away, as if making someone else hurt will relieve our own, trying to transfer our pain somewhere we might not feel it as acutely.

It can be difficult to change our focus, especially if the amygdala has overridden our self-control. This doesn’t mean we’ve failed for good. Only for now. Time is the great salve but some wounds are so deep it takes a lot of time to salve them. Accepting that, it doesn’t matter if we break down every now and again, it shows our loved ones, those closest to us, that more time is needed. It also tells US as we break down that, yes, no need to get angry about our loss of control, WE need more time.

Fear is one of the most powerful drivers of human activity and if humans are kept in a state of perpetual fear, they are easy to control. One fear is that of death; there are truths needing to be revealed about the human condition, to help people overcome some of their fears. I have been asking people what their concept of death is, for a while now. Not only close friends, but anyone I know who has suffered recent loss and trauma. It was often fresh in their minds but they answered honestly and openly. I was fascinated by the responses. I felt truly sorry for the pain I caused, but that regret is tempered by what I learnt, saw and felt from these lovely people. Asking about death and bereavement generally, I’ve been getting intellectual responses to the question of death and the thereafter, or standard Christian responses. The emotional responses I heard were humbling. And so revealing. Rather than tackling an issue head on, as I always do unless sense prevails, I watched as people deflected their emotions and responses into other areas, away from themselves, what I learned to call ‘the snowplough effect’. Clearly demonstrated, time and again. Under not much pressure, people, justifiably didn’t want to tackle the emotive issue. I learnt something deep and unintended about them; and life, bereavement and death. Something of great value, helping me cope with life here.

Is this a silly question, leading to confusion? Belief only has any relevance to faith when we’re asked to accept something relating to an abstract concept as a truth when that something could not possibly be truth; backed by nothing. Is belief relevant to knowledge based on scientific enquiry?

We should not bracket or place the unprovable and insubstantial, with tangible, evidence-based knowledge; but this is exactly what we’re doing when we ask whether people believe in angels, demons, UFO’s, Illuminati or other, as yet unprovable objects and fantasies. And yet people do accept them as if their existence were not an article of faith.

Do people believe in the sun and the moon, the changing seasons or the chairs they are sitting on? These objects and phenomena exist. But when we want to examine something strange; something we don’t understand, have never defined or examined before, we have to ask a different set of questions, including defining the meaning of the question itself, not whether it is believable. What is this phenomenon? Can I see it, feel it, touch it, smell it? Is it influencing my life? How does it work? Are there recurrent regularities and irregularities? Beginning this way, with an open mind, anyone can take a focussed look at all the evidence.

Believing in something without investigation is to accept, implicitly, the thing exists to be believed in. That, is a matter of faith. Blind faith.

Caitlin Johnston once said,

“Atheism and secularism, once fringe positions, are now mainstream as people have discovered that they don’t need to allow their lives to be controlled by words written by long dead men, in far off lands from historical and cultural contexts which have no relevance to our own circumstances.”

You need blind faith to believe something ephemeral, and people will not allow that to happen anymore.

A sincere and honest investigation into any question of faith will force humanity to expand its consciousness, consider truths and possibilities it, collectively, has never considered before. I believe there is a growing need to apply this approach to the issue of the future direction in which humanity can grow. Instead of the current direction in which humanity is being encouraged, nudged and driven.

Covid is real. There are so many different ideas about what Covid actually is, but the predominant scientific consensus seems to be that it is a mutated flu virus; in the same category as the common cold. Many people die of flu, around the world, on a seasonal basis. During the recent pandemic, flu disappeared; we did not see flu for well over a year. Instead, people died of Covid. Here, there seems to be an article of faith I cannot reconcile.

I had a surprise a couple of days ago when I typed a common phrase into a popular search engine. The understanding I held of this phrase was at odds with all of the dictionary definitions presented to me by the search engine results. Being an ardent empiricist, my world-view has been carefully built through experimentation and the reading of specialist magazine articles written by experts at the publicly available cutting edge in their field of endeavour. I like to think that by reading widely, from as many different sources as possible, my knowledge of a subject is well informed, underpinned by a thorough understanding of common knowledge.

I used to believe, Conspiracy Theory is an alternative assertion, developed from the same physical and intellectual evidence, articles and principles employed to develop the original theory. Same evidence and observations found, upon investigation by many advocates, to be strong enough to challenge an established truth. Or, to paraphrase, an alternative theory based on the same evidence.

As humans, our brains are wired to accept the first version of any event we are shown. To overcome an established theory, the second, alternative theory, must have evidence stronger than the evidence we accepted for the first.

I must overcome my opinion bias to accept recent search results. Conspiracy Theory now means a belief that a powerful cabal of people are working to take control of the world, this planet.

Who are we? What are we? Where did we come from? What is our purpose?

Did we choose to be here?

I believe we are here because we chose to be, because we volunteered to be here.

I believe we are aspects of life energy created by the Universe in which we live. Each of us is an individual with layers of understanding, meaning, intellect and experience from thousand, possibly millions of lives lived here and other parts of this Universe. Before we can incarnate in a physical body, we have to submit a structure for the life we wish to lead. Life must have a destination; a meaning, lessons for ourselves and others, personal growth, it also must fit within the overall plan for the world we wish to experience and grow.

Incoming souls have choices in the life they want to live before arriving here.

Our view of the reality in which we live is distorted by information we are given to believe, a distorted mirror image of the wider, natural reality.

What, in one place, is a position of power, is in fact, the weakest, lowest point an individual can incarnate into on the journey to illumination – the light of intelligence.

We can try to live an enlightened life, beginning from the lowliest point of entry, meeting every challenge and temptation for aggrandisement with a robust attitude of benefit for everyone – winners and winners, finally leaving for home enlightened by this experience. Growth through positive experience. Is such a life easy to leave?

Coming into life among a wealthy, powerful family, of privilege and plenty, is the same life, meeting the same challenges and temptations. Much harder to deny self, easier to accept the mantle of shepherd, herder, or jailer. Leading to factory farming and loss of care, empathy for the flock. Seeing only opportunity for self-profit. Such people will be back, time and again until they learn, understand and adopt the concept of winners and winners. Growth through negative experience. Such a life is difficult to leave when one has become addicted to power.

Both paths are necessary for enlightenment. Both are as difficult as the other and may need periodic reinforcement.

People entering a life of plenty, don’t often develop a sense of enough. They have a tendency to want, and if they always get whatever it is, they grow accustomed to, ‘Yes’. Such a man could be President of one of the most powerful countries on Earth. Possess the most wealth. Or own most of the planet. Such men also breed uncontrollably with whoever they want. Who will populate the planet in a hundred years? Two hundred years? Three, four, five hundred years?

The H G Wells story called, ‘The Time Machine’, looks increasingly prescient. His future world of bifurcated evolution into Eloi and Morlocks looks worryingly possible when we consider a world population willing to accept personal genetic modification, and the stated aims of the, now destroyed, Georgia Guidestones.

In the body, family, life and societal position we chose, if we decide our lives are not what we expected or want them to be, ask why? Are we making bad choices to decisions laid before us? We frequently are presented with two choices, sometimes three, one of which we have to choose; are we making those choices, or are they being presented to us fait accompli, decided by an outside, external power, for its own purpose?

If our life is not the one we want to live, if we find it too hard and difficult, maybe because we have lost our way and can’t find a way back to the path we set ourselves, we can choose to end it, as do many people.

Life is not for the weak or faint hearted. Such people are easy pawns in someone else’s games to a greater extent than they otherwise would be. We are all pawns in someone else’s game, we accepted this before we set our life plan, but collectively we also play our own game. We are one side in the game and our opponents currently are ahead, outweighing us. We want to save the earth, the planet, the seas, the atmosphere. We want the best for our children and families. If these are the goals of the collective majority, why do they need saving? Our opponents want the opposite, using a rapacious business model to achieve their goals based on a system of wealth transfer and accumulation of political power. Once the system of banking, goods and services, fell into the hands of our opponents, we were on the back foot and have been there since the sixteenth century, with a few periods of renaissance.

We entered a specific frequency when we came here. Global electromagnetic resonance was first measured at 8Hz, by Nicola Tesla in the early nineteenth century. The average frequency of life here was 7.83hz when Winfried Otto Schumann, with Herbert Leo Koenig, measured it mathematically in 1954-6. Today, the frequency is measured at 8Hz again. This is a very low frequency in which to live when we compare it to the musical scale. Sub-base starts around 6hz, and goes up to 20hz. The upper musical range we can measure is called Brilliance, from 6Khz to 20Khz. Little wonder music has transcendent qualities for us, living here in 8hz, but what lies beyond?

From where are the frequencies being transmitted? Physicists tell us the Universe we see is blinking on and off many times a second, they also tell us it is holographic. In this case, think about this – our world and the experiences it offers, is an adventure playground, seemingly being tested, at the moment, to destruction. Maybe before being rebooted? Built by aspects of ourselves, operated by, and for the benefit of, ourselves.

I think of it like a film franchise, a for real Westworld where we get to come in and play the character of our choice in a life of our choice with skills of our own choosing in a game of Play Yourself, where we pit aspects of ourselves against different aspects of ourselves. Our opponent is another aspect of our real selves.

When we read ancient texts of spiritual philosophy, telling us there is no separation, I believe this is what it means. In the greater reality there is us and only us, a living part of this Universe. And every creed, belief, perspective, attitude, motivation and action is a way of finding value in ourselves, in each individual aspect.

We have various stories from antiquity about a variety of individuals, often referred to as gods, appearing in different forms; from bulls and swans, lightning bolts and pillars of flame, to old men with white hair and beards. These allegories remind us how we might choose to incarnate here, to be, to learn different lessons from the life of our choice.

In today’s world, we might imagine a tall man with sagging belly-fat, curly hair and a sharp intellect. What kind of life will we have with these attributes? Or instead of a tall man, a short, slender woman, how would her life be different? Different experiences based on a different appearance.

Without a physical appearance, how would we recognise each other; family and loved ones? How would we develop a Turing Test for humans?

Being here now, is a privilege. We can make a difference if we choose to.

Back to here and now. We’re in human form; limited to five senses, in an allegedly chimp derived body, with all its faults and beauty, limitations and abilities, talents and capacity for love. The same issues, desires, hormonal and chemical reactions and choices in the split second, to go one way or another. Sometimes we can control our emotional reactions, sometimes not. Closing the mouth to prevent sound coming out is a control tactic we might use first, when a strong reaction overpowers the intellectual filter; preventing us from making crass comments – usually the first grisly, often inappropriate, thing that comes into our head. Every reaction has a beginning and when a reaction starts, there is a split-second decision made by the individual, consciously or subconsciously, to go this way or that; react positively, with neutrality, or negatively.

As humans, we have a huge emotional operating range. A consequence of the last big genetic upgrade of the species when brain capacity was increased. Humans have so wide a range, we never know quite where in the range a reaction is going to start, land and settle. It depends upon the degree of control an individual has over their body and its mental balance. Inappropriate social situations can exert control over an individuals’ reaction, so that person might save a reaction, choosing to let it out gently, in a controlled manner, or explode, later.

The brain is trained in this way during childhood, to follow required paths; those beneficial for the individual, society and our established civilisation. As we age, the brain configures to our most frequently used responses; habits form this way, automatic reactions needing no immediate thought input. Useful because we can’t always stop to think about what to do next. The anthropoid/chimp that watched an approaching cheetah, became a meal, and usually didn’t survive it… We’re descendants of the survivors. Here am I, using one of our new toys (internet) to tell each other another story, built from the same evidence as current evolutionary theory.

Imagination has no boundary.
Imagination separates humans from the rest of the animal kingdom.
Imagination can create anything.
Imagination is a window into other places and lives.
Imagination gives us the ability to arrange our own inner life.
Imagination contains multiple Universes and their contents.
Imagination has no limits.
Imagination gives us the ability to arrange our own inner landscape without external forces acting to steer us in any direction, provoke a mental and physical reaction or influence us. We’re in control, if we excercise it. Trouble is, since people began to understand this process, they have monetised it by manipulating populations towards profitable destinations. Edward Bernays, father of public relations and subtle propaganda, began this process in the 1920’s, by manipulating public opinion. The majority of modern mental illnesses can be traced to disatisfactions caused by unfullfilled expectations created by advertising.

Active imagination can create anything and can, therefore, create whatever future we desire. But when our imagination is entrained by an education system to serve the people operating the system, for their benefit, it no longer serves the person to whom it belongs. If we use logic to determine every outcome and decision, logic becomes a hammer, beating out analysis without the benefit of imagination, the only possible outcome being a logical construct.

Logic is a maintenance device, system or safety mechanism, enabling us to continue doing what has always been done. The mechanism will only allow a new assemblage, using parts already in existence, in use, same parts in a different order. Creating the illusion of change, but delivering outcomes and decisions unchanged from the original structure. Using global warming as an example, the population of planet Earth is causing climate change. In order for the population to reverse climate change, they must alter their behaviours; use less energy, create less pollution, adopt ‘green’ solutions, do as they are told by the experts. But the businesses supplying the populations can continue to do what they do and increase production for the sake of profit. Because of the legal status businesses have sought and attained, businesses will destroy this planet long before humans do. Can Artificial Intelligence Imagine?

To control any imaginative species, it is imperative that species are trained to use their imaginations in a limited way, part of a destructive cycle to prevent growth and awakening. Achieved by showing your population dystopian futures in their entertainment media; films/movies, books, magazines and regular television. Gorging or binge consuming processed foods until all are uncomfortably ill; the discomfort of low frequency emotions. To this end, show the population of Earth negative imagery to make them see that the other future presented to them, by the media you own via your corporations, is better than the one you’re convincing them is inevitable if they don’t act to change it. Lead, nudge and drive populations slowly, incrementally and inexorably, not always gently. They cannot be trusted with their own undirected, untrained imaginations. Those who resist, lead into a passive, non-conflict cul-de-sac, isolated and quarantined. Resistance is a threat, label such people as weak-minded, wishy-washy, limp-wristed tree-huggers and make sure everyone else, all humanity, has this template to overlay on anyone with the same propensity to resist. Call them conspiracy theorists – it’s a good term, it trips off the tongue, is memorable, it demolishes personal credibility, reinforces any official story and ensures there can be no credible alternative – no matter how well the imagination can reassemble known facts into a different shape.

When we say that the behaviour of a person has sunk below a certain level of morality, or social acceptability, we say he or she is an animal. But what we can’t accept, can’t come to terms with, is that our fellow man, another human being, has directed his or her imagination to the continued suffering of fellow man. This is something few animals are capable of. They lack the imagination.

Imagination is key.

How we deal with life and death, how we deal with depravity and happiness, is part of our imaginative process. How we deal with challenges and morality is part of the same process. Decency, fairness in our dealings with each other, and ritual social practices are still part of the same imaginative process.

Terry Pratchett (before he was made a Sir) said, “There is no justice. There is just us.” He knew that human imagination created the cultures of humanity just as surely as any cataclysm or life changing event.

How many of us can imagine living a life shackled to the concept of making as much money as possible, at any cost, to live the life of our expectation? Is this the definition of happiness? Take a holiday, have a day off. Break away from the normal and boring. A life spent at home, doing nothing out of the ordinary. Being safe. Predictable, controllable, away from risk and adventure, doing what we’ve always done, day after day. Watching weeks and months go by, believing the unremarkable to be spectacular just because it doesn’t happen every day. Growing old and set in our ways, waiting for death – is no life at all and an affront to our original Creator. Look into the future and wonder if what you see is more of the same for as far as the controlled imagination can see. All the way to the Metaverse we are being led to believe is inevitable?

We created this paradigm. Maybe it’s time for a few boundaries to come down.

How do we resist the downhill drive into atrophy, stasis and entropy? It is so easy to follow the path of least resistance. Onwards and upwards could be the manta of humanity, away from the current spiral down into entropic death.

If there’s something not right in your world, there’s something not right in your head. A conflict in your mind, cognitive dissonance to be reconciled. Only you can alter this state. Those worlds where peace and empathy prevail are the ones you see in your imagination and fervently wish you could be there. But if you were there, you’d still have the same mind. The same conflicts, and you’d create them in that world.

You have the power to make your life what it could be, if you don’t give that power away.

When we allow others to create our world, through us, we are creating that world and it will never be ours. All it will ever be is a world in which we embrace compromise. It will always be someone else’s world and we will always be dissatisfied with it in some way, unhappy with elements of it because it is not the world we see in our imagination. We need to take control of our lives and the future we dream about. This means making decisions and taking responsibility for them. Being responsible for changing to suit our growing, developing self. When we achieve this in groups of friends, family, colleagues, then together we grow, incrementally creating the world we only see in our collective imagination until we get there. The panacea we seek, is us.

There are a lot of intelligent, quite vocal people who lack any imaginative capacity. They produce eloquent arguments ridiculing the notion of imagination and its visions. They don’t experience imagination in the same way as other people, so why should they believe anything about the product of what they see as a derided, childish illusion? They would have us ‘Grow Up!’

Imagination is a function of Universal Consciousness, and some people are disconnected from it.

Gifts we come into this life with, innate when we arrive, are not really ours. We are simply a conduit. We develop and use the ability to create; paint, draw, write, sculpt, perform skilfully, adeptly and focussed in our endeavours for other people to enjoy. To enrich their lives. For mutual benefit.

I am reminded of the old proverb of a man being shown heaven and hell. He is led to an infinity room where a long table is laid with a sumptious feast. Foods of all kinds are heaped in the middle of the table. Along each edge people are seated, but they are famished, gaunt and starving. Deep, dark eyes set in sallow faces stare hungrily at the person seated opposite. In front of each person is a spoon and fork, each with a handle six feet long. The man asks his guide, ‘Why do they not eat? Why the silly cutlery they cannot reach their mouths with?’ The man smiles, ‘It’s what you might call hell.’ He beckons the man to follow. Leaving the room through a high, wide door, they enter another infinity room where exactly the same groaning table is heaped with the same foods, similar people and their six feet cutlery. Yet people around the table are happy, well fed and comfortable. The man is puzzled, telling his guide, ‘This must be heaven. But why are these people happy and well fed? They have the same in the last room.’ His guide tells him, ‘We all make choices. These people have learnt to feed each other.’

Food for thought.

We have a tendency to think we’re at the top of the food chain. But what if… we are inadvertantly providing sustenance for another form of life? We might have to define what life actually is and how many forms we decide to recognise, by adopting a simple formula. Nothing is ever wasted in the world of nature. To sustain life, energy is transmuted from one form to another. Life is the transfer of one energy from one state to another.

Emotions are frequencies of released energy.

Life just doesn’t spring up from mud and water; no matter what imaginative evolutionary theorists tell us or want us to believe.

Darwin’s theory has too many gaps in its evolutionary model and is increasingly being shown to be nothing more than a modern version of phlogiston.

If the genus Homo has only been around for 2 million years (of the 4.3 billion years existence of the planet), as an experiential unit, the vessel for an occupant, programme for data collection or whatever we choose to call the soul, what carried the occupant/soul previously, in the distant past? I’ve always thought the dinosaurs, being in possession of the planet for around 165 million years, must have had a purpose, been here for a reason.

Many of the dinosaurs were supposed to be violent, vicious, marauding animals who, if they weren’t vegetarians, used to kill anything they could, and eat it. We assume this because they had big powerful jaws, teeth and claws. Marks have been found on fossilised dinosaur bones, corresponding to the claws and teeth. But these animals had offspring, families, family groups and protected their young. Were they also vessels, for a similar occupant, or programme for data collection, like the hominid genus?

Until very recently, Neanderthals were thought to be an unintelligent sub-human species. But now, we know they produced art; had their own rituals and sophisticated society. How imaginative were the dinosaur species? They didn’t leave us drawings on cave walls, artifacts we can identify as belonging to them. Crazy notion. As crazy as finding a fossilised dinosaur skeleton with the remains of a computer tablet. But what if they had a culture we know nothing about? History has to be re-written when evidence keeps contradicting our understanding of the past; why is changing our written history, when outdated by overwhelming evidence, so difficult, as evidenced by such recent travesties as Clovis First, in America, and the Kariong Hieroglyphs in New South Wales, Australia, the caves of Maresha and Bet-guvrin and Harvat Burgin ruins? Any anomolous artifact discovered in an aged layer is said to be an oopart – an ‘Out Of Place Artifact’, and ignored or summarily dismissed because it doesn’t fit the story we tell ourselves about the past.

Manufactured artifacts have been found in undisturbed layers as old as 2.8 billion years. That’s a long time. The artifacts don’t care if we believe in them or not. They exist. A finely wrought eight carat gold chain, found embedded in a piece of coal, in 1891, was dated by the Illinois State Geological Survey, between 260-320 million years old, as reported in the Morrisonville Times. A metallic tube was found at St Jean Livet, France, in a 65 million year old chalk bed. Hundreds of metallic balls of two types, were found in South Africa, in a Precambrian mineral deposit dated 2.8 billion years old. Long term, how does life evolve and die? Panspermia theory tells us life arrived as microbes on meteorites. Is it a step closer to the truth of life being seeded by older species, races and/or civilisations? If so, wouldn’t those progenitors keep an eye on their creations?

I can’t help feeling, the rise of UFO, or, to give them their new name, Unidentified Aerial (or Underwater) Phenomena, reports in newspapers, magazines and television news, is leading somewhere. The 180 degree turnaround from outright denial and ridicule, to serious discussion, is nothing short of amazing for older people who have grown up with the derision. Is it linked to the removal of stigma throughout society? A sign we are growing spiritually? The old stigmas of being an unmarried mother; having no father, HIV Positive, living with AIDS, homosexuality, homophobia, racism in all its forms, Alzheimers, Dementia and mental illnesses. We really do have to learn to accept each other for what we are, with all our foibles, curious habits and diversity. Until we do, how can we accept people for whom our planet is a destination – a daytrip to a unique and beautiful jewel; or field trip to an observatory to study the exciting new species of chimp?

We have to accept there are, in our Universe, billions of planets much much older than Earth, capable of developing and sustaining intelligent life and the fact they will have technology far in advance of ours. Earth has not been attacked for many millenia, not since before the writing of the Vedas – maybe a sign that we, as a species, are being protected? Or that the aeronauts in their spectacular craft are benevolent and spiritually advanced beyond our current capability, especially considering the wars, bloodshed, suffering and antipathy our leaders regularly demonstrate and we often show each other. Surely, without some kind of altruistic investment, advanced empathic understanding and compassion, a spacefaring species would not want anything to do with the human race. But it’s not all of us, is it? Just those few in positions of power, focussed on more. Of everything.

Planet Earth has undoubtedly had many names, given by its inhabitants over the years. On the present trajectory humanity is being nudged and driven in, what will it be called in a few hundred years time? We record our lives on Facebook, Google and other online platforms; they keep the data of our lives as we live them. As businesses merge and are bought by ever bigger conglomerations, who will own history in the future? Right now, Vanguard, Black Rock, Alphabet, Facebook, Google and Twitter own the record of the present; can censor, demand alteration and control of narrative in the present. Who, in 50 years time, will own history? How will we be represented by the gatekeepers of history? If we survive, will we be recognisable? In 50 years, who will own the planet?

Uncharacteristically for me, I’m writing this in the heat of indignation.
I’ve read several newsfeed stories, about UFO’s, over the last few years and these stories seem to be increasing in number. I’ve just read an official source in America, telling people that these unidentified aerial phenomena are driven by aliens who are our enemies and must be resisted; kept out of our airspace, away from our planet (Earth, our current home planet) and blasted out of our skies.
Over the last millenia, at the same time as these unidentified aerial phenomena have been recorded all over the planet, by different peoples artworks – including the church, Earths’ population has been decimated by wars between countries; different factions in the same countries, since the second world war by pharmaceutical and chemical companies experimenting with their various products, by viruses which may or may not be bio-engineered, genetically modified and overprocessed non-foods which cause people to get fat to obesity while actually starving them to death, by sociopathic people in despotic regimes and companies in positions of extreme power and their ‘good’ ideas about how best to tackle ‘problems’ among the populations. And now, when it appears the same emotional retards are accepting the reality of what they’ve been ridiculing other people for, for DECADES – almost 70 years, these unidentified aerial phenomena, they’re telling us – the people of planet Earth – the occupants are a threat? They are our enemies? Surely they don’t know anything about them, they’ve only just accepted their existence! Has anyone ever heard about aliens in flying saucers opening fire on humanity? Dropping bombs or chemical or biological weapons on anyone?
From whom do humans, we, the people on planet Earth, need protection?